Why Satisfaction Matters More Than Success or Happiness in Love & Life

Success, Happiness, and the Truest Barometer of Life

Success looks good on paper.
Happiness looks good in photos.
But satisfaction? Satisfaction feels good in your skin, deep, cellular, unmistakable. And that’s why it’s the truest barometer of life.

This is my transformation story. It’s the story that has changed not only my life, but the lives of my clients. It’s the story that led me into coaching. And it’s my favorite love story.

The Loop We Knew So Well - A Metaphor

My husband and I have been married for over 25 years. From the beginning, we’ve been partners in every sense of the word. We found joy in simple things, like a favorite five-kilometer loop we loved running together.

Some days we pushed hard and ran fast, other days we strolled along slowly, enjoying the scenery and the rhythm of being side by side. Sure, there were times I didn’t cross the finish line. Other times, I was the one helping him hit a personal record. But it didn’t matter. We were in it together, and that felt like enough.

Until it didn’t.

Over time, the loop that once felt adventurous and alive began to feel routine. Predictable. Like we were running the same ground again and again, never straying from the path. My husband seemed content with it, and so I told myself it was easier to stay on this loop than risk shaking things up.

But inside, I was restless.

The Fear of Asking for More

Maybe you’ve felt it, too, the hesitation that comes when you start to wonder: What if this isn’t enough anymore?

I longed for something different, something more expansive. But fear kept me quiet. What if my husband was perfectly happy on our loop? What if my asking for more created a gap between us we could never repair?

Even when we found guides to show us new routes, we’d always come back to our tried-and-true path. Safe. Familiar. Predictable.

Until one day, a thought landed in me like a thunderclap: I don’t even know if I like running anymore. What if I want to try mountain climbing?

The thought scared me. He didn’t marry a mountain climber. What if admitting this desire changed everything for the worst? What if exploring what lit me up caused me to lose what I already had?

That’s the crossroad so many of us face. You feel the itch, the grain of sand in the oyster, the whisper that there might be more. And yet you fear the risk of wanting it.

The Background Noise That Holds Us Small

And maybe you’ve felt that before. There’s often one part of us that craves change, and another part quietly running in the background, telling us it’s safer to stay small.

You may hear or feel the whispers:
Don’t rock the boat.
Don’t want too much.
Don’t risk losing what you already have.

My husband always scoffs when I tell him I was worried that I would lose him. But, it felt SO TRUE in my body.  It’s a good reminder that our unconscious mind likes to keep us in the same space and can create wild ideas that feel like truth to protect habits and routines.

What I know now, from living it and seeing it with my clients, the discomfort of staying the same eventually becomes heavier than the risk of stepping into something new.

You start to feel it in the ache of unmet desire. In the fatigue of always showing up for others but rarely for yourself. In the quiet voice that asks: I’m content, but could I be fulfilled? Could I feel more alive, more lit up, more satisfied in my own skin?

That whisper is the threshold. The moment you realize you can’t keep waiting for someone else to change first. The moment you’re willing to be brave enough to ask: What if more is possible?

The Threshold of Satisfaction

Satisfaction isn’t the same as success. It isn’t the same as happiness.

Success is external. It’s the degrees, the titles, the money in the bank account, the photos that look good online.

Happiness is fleeting. It spikes with novelty, with the next trip, the next shiny thing.
But satisfaction is different.

Satisfaction is internal. It’s felt in the body. It’s the exhale at the end of the day. The softening of your shoulders. The knowing that you don’t need anything more in this moment. You are complete.

And here’s the truth I had to face: I was not satisfied.

Yes, I was grateful. Yes, I was happy in many ways. Yes, I had built a life that looked successful from the outside. But in my bones, I knew, I was hungry for something more.

The question became: how do I move forward?

Where Change Really Begins

In my mind, I KNEW that if my husband would just change, everything would be better. I was SURE he was the problem. Luckily, part of me knew not to tell him this. Instead, I said “I think I have more to bring to our relationship. Are you willing to support me as I try to navigate that?”

 Change doesn’t start with your partner, or your job, or your circumstances. Change begins with you, specifically, with your subconscious stories and your body’s willingness to feel safe enough to expand.

When I started addressing the background noise, the old programming that told me to keep quiet, to play small, to prioritize everyone else, I saw massive shifts. Not just in me, but in my marriage, my work, and my ability to feel alive again.

I stopped waiting for permission.
I stopped waiting for things to get bad enough.
I stopped waiting for someone else to change first.

I began with myself.

 The Grain of Sand Becomes a Pearl

Maybe right now you feel that same grain of sand in your life. A quiet itch you can’t quite name. A whisper that says: This isn’t it. There’s something more.

At first, it feels easier to ignore it. But over time, it becomes impossible to deny.

That discomfort? It’s an invitation. It’s the very thing that can catalyze your transformation.

When you allow yourself to listen, to be brave enough to honor what you truly want, the grain of sand becomes the pearl. The irritation becomes the gift. The itch becomes the doorway into satisfaction.

Your Invitation

My journey was so powerfully transformative for myself, my marriage and my family.  My husband and I would always wonder – is this how everyone else is living? Why didn’t anyone tell us this before?!

This is why I do the work I do now. Because I’ve lived it. I know what it feels like to be grateful for your life and still quietly unsatisfied. I know the fear of wondering: If I ask for more, will it all fall apart?

And I also know the exhilaration of realizing that satisfaction isn’t a luxury. It’s medicine. It’s what softens you, opens you, connects you to yourself, to your partner, to your purpose.

When you change your mindset and connect with your body, you stop performing and start receiving. You stop chasing and start living. You stop holding your breath and finally exhale into a life that feels nourishing, expansive, and whole.

If you’ve been feeling the whisper, that grain of sand, you don’t have to figure it out alone. This is the work I walk my clients through every day: rewriting their intimacy narrative, reconnecting with their body, and reclaiming desire so satisfaction becomes their baseline.

Because satisfaction isn’t the end of the story. It’s the beginning.