3 Practices to Connect with Desire and Return to Yourself

Desire as a Guide: The Pathway Home to Yourself

So many women spend their lives chasing satisfaction as if it's a prize at the end of hard work: the dream job, devoted partner, perfect home, or the elusive peace you’re told will arrive once you’ve “earned it.” Satisfaction isn’t a destination, it’s a compass, signaling how closely you’re living in alignment with your true self. If you feel uninspired, restless, or just quietly unfulfilled, the truth is you may have stopped listening to your deepest desires.

As a subconscious mindset coach, I help women rediscover that desire isn’t indulgence, it’s guidance. Every longing is a quiet inner voice saying, "There is more meant for me." When you begin to honor these whispers, your sense of fulfillment flourishes.

The Conditioning That Silences Women’s Desires

If you are like many of my clients, you may feel like desire has disappeared. The harder you try to access it, the more elusive it feels. This is not your fault, it’s conditioning. Society has long taught women to deprioritize their desires in favor of keeping the peace or caring for others.

You may remember hearing or feeling:

•  Don’t be greedy.
•  Be realistic.
•  You should be grateful for what you have.

These messages seem harmless (and if we are talking to our kids about a huge back of Halloween candy, may be appropriate), but may also teach us that wanting is selfish or dangerous. Historically, female desire was linked to rebellion, risk, or “unfemininity.” So, we learned to silence our wants and focus on others’ comfort over our own pleasure.

Now, as adults, this conditioning still shows up:

•  You have everything you thought you wanted but still feel empty.
•  You say "I’m just busy" when really you mean "I feel disconnected or distracted."
•  You stop asking yourself what you want and start asking what others need from you.

Much of this happens on a subconscious level. We fear desire’s power because we were taught to distrust it. Without the compass of desire, authentic satisfaction is lost.

Why Desire Feels Out of Reach

If you’ve ever wondered, "I don’t even know what I want anymore," you’re far from alone. Here’s why this disconnection happens:

•  Living in your head, not your body: True desire is rooted in the body sensations, intuition, and those wordless nudges toward what feels good. In a culture obsessed with productivity, being present in your body is radical. When you’re stressed or in “survival mode,” the body shuts down longing and only protects. To ignite desire, your body must feel safe.
•  Confusing desire with indulgence: We’re told that wanting more is greedy or frivolous. But real desire is about authenticity. It’s simply your truth trying to be heard.
•  Believing desire is risky: Many women fear that pursuing their desires will lead to disappointment, loss, or chaos. The subconscious mind links safety with sameness and resists change, even when your fulfillment depends on it.
•  Forgetting how to listen: Desire usually arrives as a gentle nudge, curiosity, or sense of fascination, not a shout. You must create stillness to hear it.

Satisfaction: Your Soul’s Feedback

Satisfaction is your soul’s YES. When you live from inner alignment, satisfaction grows; when you live from duty, it shrinks. Comfort numbs, but satisfaction nourishes. Comfort says, "I’m safe, so I’ll stay here." Satisfaction says, "I’m safe, so I can grow from here."

Try reflecting at the end of each day:

•  What felt genuinely satisfying today?
•  What left me drained?
•  When did I feel quietly lit up, even if no one noticed?

Your answers are a map showing where desire is trying to guide you. And, don’t worry if this feels too abstract, we will dive deeper!

Desire as Sacred Guidance

Desire is encoded wisdom inside you. Sometimes you only need to acknowledge a desire, not necessarily act on it. Each time you remind yourself, "My desires are safe here," you invite your body to relax into its truth.

Giving yourself permission to want is a radical act of self-honoring. When you allow desire to lead, you start creating from alignment instead of obligation. Life becomes something you actively participate in, not just perform.

The Ripple Effect: How Reclaiming Desire Changes Your Life

When women reconnect with desire, true transformation unfolds:

•  In relationships: You shift from “pleasing” to partnering. Honesty and playfulness replace resentment and disconnection.
•  In work: Creativity and purpose come alive. You move from proving your worth to expressing your gifts.
•  In your body and spirit: Aliveness returns. Pleasure is permission, not performance. You transition from survival to savoring.

Top 3  Shifts to Access Desire

If desire feels distant, you aren’t broken and you aren’t alone. My entire business was created to help women reconnect with desire. The path to reclaiming it is about practice, not perfection. Here are three ideas to get you started:

1.  Create safety through stillness

Spend five minutes each day in stillness. Rest your hand on your heart or womb and ask, "What do you need right now?” Let your body know it’s safe. This may feel too simple, but, trust me, consistently doing this ritual will shift you in powerful ways. Try it for a week while keeping notes on how you feel. Your body is a powerful doorway back to sensation and desire.

2.  Follow the sparks, not “shoulds”

Desire may start as curiosity, not clarity. Follow what lights a small flame within you, even if it feels impractical. Each spark is a breadcrumb back to your true self.

For me, this may look like a pleasure walk – I go on a walk in the neighborhood looking for little glimmers that make me happy. This may be a pretty flower or a funny dog furiously defending his homestead or the way the light is hitting the trees. It might be savoring a cup of coffee or your breakfast in a way that invites you to slow down & let the sensation spread through your entire body.

3.  Let satisfaction be your North Star

Ask yourself daily, “What felt satisfying?” Each moment of genuine satisfaction is proof you’re moving toward alignment and authenticity.

This nightly check-in does more than help you notice good moments; it literally rewires your brain to associate pleasure and presence with safety. For many of us, our nervous systems have learned to link satisfaction with guilt or danger. We’re comfortable with stress, but not with stillness. We chase productivity because it feels “safe,” and yet, deep rest or fulfillment can feel oddly unsettling.

By consciously noticing satisfaction, you begin to reverse that pattern. You remind your body: “It’s safe to slow down. It’s safe to feel good. It’s safe to be here.”

Each time you name what felt good, you activate your brain’s reward pathways and strengthen the connection between desire, pleasure, and safety. This is how you train your subconscious to seek what nourishes you instead of what merely proves your worth.

Unbox Yourself: Your Journey Back to Desire

Doing these three things daily will get you started coming home to yourself. If you would love some accountability & assistance I have great news. If desire is your guide, consider this journey your map. My colleague Brianna Bridges and I have created a new experience called Unbox Yourself. It is a four-part transformational series that helps you shed the conditioning hindering your wants and return home to your truth:

•  Limitless: Reconnect to possibility and remember how to dream.
•  Permission: Reclaim your right to want without guilt or apology.
•  Empowerment: Express your desires clearly, compassionately, and confidently.
•  SuperYou: Integrate your truth and create lasting alignment.

This isn’t about reinventing yourself, it’s about unlearning everything that told you to play small. When you let desire lead, you stop asking “Who am I supposed to be?” and start reclaiming “Who have I always been?”. We would love for you to join us. Find more details HERE.

Coming Home to Desire

Desire isn’t selfish, it’s sacred. It’s the pulse of life guiding you home to what is most alive and true within you. When you honor your desires, you transform your relationship with yourself, stepping into satisfaction, embodiment, and authenticity.

So, take a breath. Find stillness.

Ask yourself: “What do I want?”

Not what’s logical or expected, but what’s true.

This is where satisfaction begins.

This is how you unbox yourself.